Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Is it really that bad?

Ever since the first day of Sunbeams Sam has pretty much hated Primary at church. This of course breaks my heart as a former primary president knowing how much work goes into making primary a good experience for every child. Every day Sam comes to me and asks if it is Sunday. On those chosen days that it actually is, Sam immediately goes into the routine of fits, convulsions, you name he's done it, at least that is what I thought until this last Sunday. The last few months Sam has tried to convince us he is too sick to go to church. He has done the standard "my tummy hurts", fake coughs, and asking if he has a fever. This last Sunday he went into the kitchen grabbed a container from under the sink and gagged himself causing him to throw up a small bit. Then he brought it to Ron and I claiming he had the flu and that he needed to stay home. "Is Primary really that bad for you Sam?" He of course said yes.

If I didn't think church was that important I would have given up a long time ago, but I know its important that we go every week and that he needs to be there as much as the rest of us. I pray every week this will get better. In all honesty it has gotten somewhat better. He hasn't cried the entire two hours for the last few months (barring this last Sunday). We have been doing positive reinforcement with him (or in simpler terms "bribing"). If he can get through Primary without crying and needing a parent he gets a treat when he gets home. I had a Primary calling for a while just to see if things would get better. It actually got worse so when they called me into Young Women a little over a year ago it was a relief to both of us. I wish I knew what to do for him. You can bet we will be discussing this at his next IFSP meeting with Early Intervention.

7 comments:

LizzyP said...

That breaks my heart, too. And I feel sick just thinking about it--I don't blame, Sam one bit! He's obviously so uncomfortable there.

Sherry Carpet said...

has he been able to explain what it is that terrifies him? is it being separated from you, other kids, teachers?

aj said...

that's so sad.

I hated one of my primary teachers & would willingly sit with my mom in relief society. Something about his big lips (?)

From the Farm said...

He is only 4!... 4 years 9 months... how has he figured out this "avoidance behavior"? Smart boy despite the frustrations it causes for mom and dad.

NW Harbert's said...

Cadie did all of that and more, until she was about 7. She had really bad seperation anxiety. She still does for some things. But I don't know if that is what Sam is going through. I just know that is was really hard on me as a mom and as a women wanting to go do what I needed to at church. I hope it will be resolved. I wish ours was completely over.

S+S said...

that's really heart-breaking. I'll pray that his situation gets better. Hopefully his teacher and leaders are aware of this and are eager to help solve the problem. I always tell myself, "it's just a phase"!!! That helps get me through things.

Stephanie said...

From what I see you are such a good and patient mom Denise. You really have your hands full and I think you do awesome! Just look at that cake you made, amazing! Sam is a sweet kid and he has good older siblings that will be a good example to him. All it will take is that one awesome primary teacher or experience and he will be a changed boy.