Aaron is doing well.

I know everyone is wanting to hear about Aaron (me included!). I was able to see him for about 1/2 hour yesterday when my Mom came. I still have to have someone to take me over in a wheelchair so I'm at the mercy of the staff or someone who can visit who is able to take me in. Ronny has been able to go over more and even change his diaper yesterday and has talked with the nurses more so I'll let him send his own updates when he gets a chance. I talked to his nurse then and she said he is doing really well. He had an EKG on his heart that showed a small amount of fluid just behind his heart. They were surprised at how little fluid there was and that so far they are not concerned about what he does have. They also did an ultrasound on his brain to check for fluid and other problems but everything looked normal. He does have something called PDA that most premies have and some newborns have but at this point they are not too concerned about it and if it becomes an issue later they will address it then. He does have a small whole in his heart but again they are not yet concerned and will watch it. Because of his size they only like to touch him every 6 hours to do their tests and change his diapers and linens. If we call ahead we can find out when that is scheduled and they allow us to help with that. I called his nurse last night to check on him. He had been fidgety she said so she gave him something to calm him but it dropped his blood pressure so they had to up his dopamine a little but that he was stable once again. The nurse told Ronny that this is going to be a critical week for Aaron. How he does this week should give us an idea of how things will play out. He has made it through his first day and we are absolutely thrilled. Aaron is not the smallest baby they have had but they said he is close to it so we know we have lots of hurdles to overcome here. He is a fighter, given that said we know that his life still remains in the Lord's hands and we are cautiously optimistic about the road ahead for him and our family.

Ronny and I tried to prepare for all of this as best we could but now we are seeing that in that prep work we are still so far behind. The staff here have been great and are really helping but things like realizing that I would need to be pumping here and what things I would need just didn't make the list in packing for the hospital last week so now we are doing our best to play catch up. I think part of it also was somewhat not knowing the outcome of Aaron's arrival and not wanting to over prepare for things that would be hard. Does that make any sense?

Its early Wed. morning and I am up feeling as if a freight train hit me in the gut. I don't know if its because I was still on all the pre-eclampsia meds or still hyped up on adrenaline with all that has happened but now I am feeling this c-section for the first time. Ahhhh! This is my first and my last but any advice from all you seasoned pros out there who could give me some hints and suggestions on how to get through this easier and better I would greatly appreciate it. I had cut my meds in half yesterday because I felt good and am now feeling the foolishness in that decision and asked for the full dose again. I wasn't allowed to walk yesterday but today it looks like I have work to do there and hopefully it means I can get over to the NICU more today. I'm on a floor where there are no babies so the nurses are a bit more hands off. I had my nurse come in last night and told her I feel like I don't know what I'm doing and had her write down for me what I should be doing and what I should expect to feel. That is on a white board in front of me now so that is helpful. With Aaron not here with me I feel like I need to be in the NICU more but I am also trying to figure out my bowel system once again so I can't go over unless I have that under control and again unless I have a nurse who can take me. I'm torn with wanting to be there, being miserable here, and worrying about my big kids and husband at home. its just so much to take in. I can feel my meds kicking in so I will sign off. Thank you all for your wonderful support and your prayers and continued prayers in Aaron's behalf. They have made all the difference.

All my love