Sunday, May 08, 2011

May 7th Update

Saturday was a little bittersweet for me. My doctor came to see me the night before and we talked about being able to go home. She told me that my blood pressure reads were looking really good and that she was comfortable with me being a good patient with help at home and knew that I would come right back if I had any problems with my blood pressure or any other ailment. We chatted for about an hour and in the process of our talks the nurse came in to take my vitals and my blood pressure had spiked again. Just when my hopes were up for being able to go home they ended right there. I was disappointed but at the same time I sure didn't want to go home just to turn right around and come back so it was a little bittersweet. She seemed more upset about telling me I had to stay then I really felt though. I want to be safe, we have come so far. The last thing I want to do is be foolish and mess up the good things going for us right now. I am now officially 30 weeks! Big milestone, yet we have so much work to do.

She stayed for a while longer and asked me about my family. I told her about my kids and how Ronny and I met, but then I felt really impressed to talk to her about why our family was special and why Aaron is so important to us. I asked how familiar she was with the LDS faith. I told her how important our family was and that our family was eternal. We talked about what it meant to be sealed in the temple and how whatever happens with the end of this pregnancy, Aaron is a Child of God and that he is our son and that whether we are given the chance here on earth to raise him or would have to wait until after we die, we would still have that opportunity as long as we were faithful to our covenants we made when we were sealed in the temple. It was such a great conversation and the spirit was really strong. She told me that she loves to see Ronny and I when we have appointments because she knows that we are in this together and that we are making decisions with all the information in mind and that she knows we take them seriously and that we pray about them as well. She said although she feels like she gives us bad news every time we see her but she always feels happier after she leaves us. She also said that she wants nothing more than to come to a big party on Aaron's first birthday!

In the end I'm sad that I am not home with my family but I'm glad I was here for that conversation. She has always been supportive of our decisions even when we disagree. Now though she knows the background of why and how we are making our decisions. That means a great deal to me.


Kristen said...

Denise, we'll keep praying for your family. Hospital life is no fun! I saw an article in the paper today about an IHC program called Angel Watch to help families prepare and cope with having a baby who may not live long. But we are all hoping for more miracles.